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“A lot of people pay hairdressers good money for that sort of mess.”
Melanie was squinting at her reflection now. “My nose is too big.”
“Your nose is perfect. It’s a supermodel’s nose.”
“My eyes are the color of toxic waste.”
“Most people call that color ‘green’.”
“I’m too short.”
Walter nodded, a somber look on his face. “True. What are you, three foot six?”
“Five four.”
“Same difference.”
Melanie nodded sadly, “Yeah.”
Walter pulled her away from the mirror, and marched her into the living room. “Sit. Can I get you anything?” He started heading toward the kitchen
Melanie flopped backward on the couch. “Do you still have that bottle of really awful tequila your friend left here?”
Walter stopped, staring down at her through narrowed eyes. “Planning to punish ourselves with a little power drinking, are we?” He looked at his watch, “And not even 9am yet. With your famous and prodigious alcohol tolerance, we should have you through the puking stage and into a light coma by 9:15, then.”
“I need something. I’m in pain.”
Walter nodded sagely. “Yes. It always starts out as, ‘I am made invincible by my sorrow’ but it always ends with ‘I am going to throw up my kidneys and die.’”
“Then at least promise me you’ll stay here with me.”
Walter laughed, “I’ll need to call in to work.”
“Your job is evil. I think you get a free pass if you don’t bother calling in to an evil job. It’s in the Bible or something.”
“I work in telemarketing, not selling black market organs.”
Melanie took out her phone and checked it for scratches. “Does your company use those automatic, ‘Hold for an important message!’ machines?”
Walter shook his head. “We spread our evil using the human touch. Everyone hangs up on the machines. Now tell me about your ‘no job’ thing. That’s new.”
“They fired me for being late last week. When my car got wrecked.”
Walter stared at her for a second. “Is that even legal? You were in a fifteen car pileup.”
“Well, there had been some other lateness problems. But none of them were really my fault. I got stuck in an elevator three different times, in three different buildings. I mean, what are the odds of that? But when you say it out loud, there is no way to make it not sound like a lie.”
“Do you need anything? A loan?” Walter asked.
Melanie snorted, then put her face in her hands. “Walter, can we not talk about my lack of a job right now? I can only deal with one life shattering crisis at a time.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry, Mel. Hold on.” He disappeared into the kitchen, and came back a moment later with a large glass of water, which he handed to her. “Drink this, and then tell me all about it.”
She drank a sip, then put the water down on his coffee table. He picked it up and moved a magazine with a picture of a vampire on the cover out from under it. Ever since she’d known him, Walter had been into role playing games where people played monsters as their characters. Melanie had never learned to play, in spite of his constant pushing. Real life was complicated enough. “I don’t want to talk about Jerrod,” she said.
“Then tell me about these dreams.”
She shrugged. “Well… I keep having them. I dream something huge and black inside of me, or is me, or something. Some kind of black monster. It’s hard to explain. But it distorts things. Sometimes it hurts people. For some reason, it’s terrifying.” She stopped talking. Walter was staring at her with a strange intensity. “What?”
He shook his head. “It’s just an odd dream, that’s all, and I wonder where the alternative rock bands fit in. I’m going to make breakfast, want any?”
This is such a clever story. I love the subtleties and the implied magic. The two main characters are delightful. A book should be developed using these characters and perhaps a related phantom environment. I am going to search the net to read more stories by these gifted authors.