The Seventh Day
“Look at you, Mr. Gerry. I don’t think you realize what a rare breed of man you are. A week ago, you were a poster child for Him.”
For every reason he listed, he held up a finger.
“Good man. Good Husband. Devout Christian. Successful career. Volunteered and gave to charities.”
Mr. Lucas shook his head.
“You, Mr. Gerry, lived an exemplary life.”
He paused.
“That is until the night you came home and found your wife abed with another man.”
Mr. Lucas’s reasons disappeared with a swift cutting gesture.
“And then, Mr. Gerry, that is where you came to a crossroads, upon which you chose a path that has now led you to my domain.”
“Normally,” he said, “the murder of one’s spouse results in almost instant booking. But you, Mr. Gerry, you defy convention! Your life before your wife’s indiscretion was a good one. So much so, that it precisely offsets her murder. Think of it as though you are standing in the exact center of some grand cosmic teeter-totter, and it could go either way.”
Mr. Lucas smiled and licked his lips.
“Right now the scales are balanced, Mr. Gerry, but they won’t remain that way forever. You were sent here to see what’ll happen if you lean further still to my side. The powers-that-be decided to arrange something special for you, a one-week trial, if you will.”
“You do not realize how lucky you are, sir. You have been given a great gift, one that hasn’t been granted since that ridiculous Italian wrote his silly cantos all those centuries ago. Of course, the idiot bungled the thing horribly. Nine levels! Hah! Frozen lakes, suicidal forests, and burning sand? Hah! His logistics are totally ridiculous. If I’d organized the place the way he’d written it…well! Its impossible I tell you! It takes no account of variety. What kind of person commits only one type of sin? How would you dispose of, say, a traitor who was also violent, gluttonous, and a suicide? Mr. Gerry, you have no idea how many organizational headaches I deal with, even after ages of being in business. It is true, the phrase I hear they say on your Earth: I am in the details.
“Anyway, I ask you, what kind of man writes about witnessing his enemies in hell? What a vindictive bastard. What a weird imagination! Do I look like I am currently chewing on anyone while I am talking to you? DO I? Of course, I swallowed them all long ago.”
Mr. Lucas pulled out a toothpick and began picking at his sharp teeth.
“The poor fool didn’t realize that the most grievous sin of all is pride,” He allowed himself a soft chuckle. “At least, not until he arrived here for good.”
“Now where was I? Oh, yes. So we gave you a full week’s all expenses paid trip. And, to our immense entertainment, you performed swimmingly.”
Mr. Lucas paused and, for the first time, his face looked uncertain. He spun around in his chair once, then steepled his long fingers under his chin.
“Well Mr. Gerry, this is somewhat embarrassing. I normally don’t get a chance to speak with guests after they’ve been through the Room. I hope you don’t mind indulging me, and I’m aware how awfully personal a question this is.
“Now that you’ve had your little…preview, I have to ask: did you enjoy yourself? I must confess to find myself curious about what you thought of our little Room. Tell me, what was it like?”
I stared at him dumbfounded. How to explain the Room without screaming? It was impossible. Human language lacks the capacity. Well, I thought, perhaps there was one word that could be used.
“It was He—”
“Helllpful?” Mr. Lucas injected. I hesitated, not knowing what to say.
“You see, Mr. Gerry, it wasn’t always this way. Back in the good old days, we could rely on traditional methods: infernal, endless torture, flames, thirst, the whole kit and caboodle. But times being as they are, we’ve had to accommodate, to modernize, and work out more progressive ways of achieving our goals.”
“Your goals?” I whispered, “What on earth are your goals?”
“Why, Mr. Gerry,” Mr. Lucas said with surprise, “justice of course.”
“Justice?” I was unable to keep the incredulous tone out of my voice.
At that moment, Miss Lilith came rushing in and handed some new files to her boss. While he perused them, she winked at me. I shivered.
“Damn!” Mr. Lucas suddenly shouted.
“I don’t know how that Bastard expects me to cope with all these new arrivals! Look at these numbers Lilith. This is the largest shipment yet! We may have to buy another boat for Charley! Honestly, sometimes I don’t know why I started this whole thing.”
Mr. Lucas’s voice began to trail off and he seemed to stare beyond me, as if remembering something from long ago.
“It seemed like such a good idea at the time. I remember thinking, ‘Why not improve the system? Shift the paradigm.’ I mean, for me to even have those thoughts is, in itself, justification for them, is it not? And then I spoke with Him.”
Mr. Lucas’s voice grew deeper and more powerful as he continued to speak. I got the distinct impression that he was no longer talking to me.
“Get your own staff! Run your own office! Better to be the Head of Infernal Affairs than just middle management. Why I signed up for it, sometimes I don’t know.”
He seemed suddenly to remember I was there, for he gave me a wide smile.
“Although I must admit, I’ve grown to love my work.
“Yes Mr. Gerry, justice. All who come here reap what they have sown. I make sure they do, with interest included. Why am I to blame? I’ve simply given them what they wanted throughout their lives, and now they complain when they have to pay for it! And only a weekly payment at that! Surely that’s not too high a price.”
“Nothing is worth going through that,” I replied, “Nothing.”
Mr. Lucas smiled as I spoke, and this time it was the quiet smile of one who has long been waiting to get to the point of a conversation, and now it has arrived.
“You might want to remember that, Daniel, when you wake up.”